Unknown

Are you scared of the unknown? I know I am. I also know that I am not supposed to be. I could go "all Bible" on you, but for now, won't. To me, there is a very fine, not so straight line between trusting God and being proactive about the body that he gave you.

If there is something wrong medically, you go to the doctor and get looked at. No problem. You thank God for enabling certain people with the intelligence and wisdom (yes they are different things) to help you take care of you body.

Now say, there is something wrong with you medically and the doctor sends you to a specialist. That specialist does tests and treats you for some things are outside the normal limits that could, or could not be, contributing to the condition that brought you there in the first place. Now, also imagine that the treatment for the "less than optimal" levels has done nothing to make the levels optimal and he wants to repeat the treatment. Bear in mind that the treatment has as many side effects as not treating does.

Throw into the mix a spouse with a medical background that does their best to remain calm and not tell you about all the bad things that can happen. Add some really expensive medical texts and google and stir.

At what point, if any so far, have you stopped trusting God? Is it ok to continue going to specialists to find out the nature of the problem? Is it ok to continue doing research about possibilities? Is it ok to sit back and "let go and let God?"

Does this whole unknown issue fit into my rate x time equation?

Rate x Time

It seems, as of late, that the universe is unraveling at an alarming rate. Now, for the Big Bang guys, not THE universe, just my little corner, the universe. The=my. Which is WAY more important. And it isn't unraveling in a chaotic, never-ending way.

It is a 'just sorta, slowly, want to know what God has in store' unraveling.

Seems my entire universe is on a collision course with something, somewhere. If you put that in numbers, of which I am way more comfortable, it is rate x time=distance. So at this rate, with how long it has been going on, it seems to equal a long distance. I am excited to see what God has in store, but not usually willing to go the distance.

Anyone else have this problem? Or is it just me?

proud of my kids

Isn't it glorious

to sit in 102 degree water when it is darn near freezing outside. Slightly worried about the new traffic signals with the BIG camera on top that could conceivably see over my fence. Maybe, I should invest in a swimsuit. NYAH, that would be practical. Maybe, that is why I like sitting in the hottub. It isn't practical. Anyone reading this wonders where I have found the free 5 minutes to type about practicality. Fortunately I can type really fast, thank you Western Union. So, back to the practical thing. It really is glorious to stop and "whatever" (you fill in the blank). For me it is to look at the sky and thank God for the stars, and the moon that is shining so brightly that the darkness can't hide the fact that I don't have on a swimsuit, and I rely on that :) Just to stop and wonder. I don't stop enough. I can hear a couple of friends thinking "ain't that the truth!" When I stop, I procrastinate, and I don't like that. I am a doer. Doing nothing, like playing solitare for hours, makes me feel guilty. I guess that I shouldn't. Even God rested and he was, IS, a lot busier that me, but he at least finished the job first.

I really do wonder enough though. Sometimes I wonder enough that I drive myself and everyone around me nuts. But if I don't STOP when I wonder, then I lose focus. Sounds like a vicious cycle.

So, am I alone on this?

So, now I wonder....... if more of my wonder was on God if I wouldn't lose focus when I stop.

Then I hear God say "STOP, now listen"

Boy, now I am in a pickle!

Solitaire anyone?

The first of many or the last of one?

Ok, Kelly made me do it. And she is in NO way related to the devil. But I just can't respond to her, KJP, Lisa, or anyone else without creating an account. Now I hear little voices asking me if I am going to keep the MSN space also. I am not sure I can keep up 2 blog spaces (like I have even kept up one) but it is kinda cool having "damrspeel" across the web. I have managed to hold the MSN, Hotmail, Yahoo, AIM, and now Blogger name. Preparing to conquer the useless dirt trail (as opposed to the information highway.) So, enough, I am in a mood. Looking forward to be able to comment now and do some blogging of my own.